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Here are some Feedback Examples From Previous Contest Submissions
Example Feedback:
COMMENTS:
Really nice work on your score for this film! I appreciate that you took risks and approached it in a unique way
01:00:00:00 @ MAIN TITLE MONTAGE
I like the idea of this “resonant tone” as a motif for the marijuana, and your choice of when to bring that in is a good one. With that said, I don’t think the beginning of the scene works very well without music, so I would advise starting either on the title card, or even earlier, with something that sets the tone of this kitchen montage. You can then bring the resonant sound in as a punctuating element within that overarching piece of music. Tone-wise, even though there isn’t much going on harmonically, the sustained and evolving nature of the tones creates a feeling of intensity that I think might be too much at this point in the film. I think hanging on these long sustained notes like this might be more suited to the later scene in the dream sequence. 1:07 Hitting his little gesture is a good choice.
01:01:09:00 @ CUT TO BLACK AND SLO-MO
I like that you bring in a new sound here, and become more melodic. I also like that you choice to bring in rhythmic/percussive elements which create this feeling of anticipation, which works well with the idea that the chef is excitedly bringing out this creation to unveil it. Harmonically, we’re kind of in a slightly dark, yet mostly ambiguous place. It’s not really committing to any emotions, which sometimes is the right thing to do, but right here I wonder if we could have played up the excitement of the chef, which would then contrast (which is always a good thing in drama) with the subsequent darker elements once the reveal happens.
01:01:25:00 @ CUT TO SIDE PERSPECTIVE
1:37 Great choice to bring in a new instrument on a strong entrance here when we see the reveal that it’s himself he’s serving to. Harmonically, it still feels very uncommitted to anything. There’s a major chord which provides a positive lift, but then there’s immediate dissonance afterward, which sends us to a darker place, but there aren’t really actions on screen to justify these shifts in tone. So try to dial your tone in and be consistent with it, and only change when the picture demands it to change.
01:01:39:00 @ CUT TO DISH
Again, good spotting choice, bringing in yet another new instrument on the reveal of the joint on the plate. I think it would have been nice to have a bigger shift than just adding a bell sound on top while continuing your same overall idea. It could be any number of things: changing keys, starting a new melodic idea or rhythmic idea, coming to a pause, etc. Just something to help emphasize this big reveal. I like that you have this swell into the shot of him looking into the camera, with a bit of added dissonance. This works really well! I like the unsettled feeling you’ve captured on the zoom-in at the end of this scene.
01:02:09:00 @ TRANSITION TO NEW LOCATION
I would have liked more of a swell into the transition, before you cut off. It felt a little strange to fade out before the transition fully took place. The return of the “resonant tone” is a nice idea, as is the reprise of your melodic theme. It has a nice introspective quality that really seems to communicate what the character is going through.
01:02:41:00 @ CUT TO END CREDITS
Interesting choice to have the tremolo idea at the end, finishing on a dark and ominous note. While I think it’s a valid approach, the downside is that it really tells the audience exactly how to feel, when the film is otherwise set up to be somewhat open to interpretation. It might have been more interesting to be somewhat more neutral (or have a much more subtle nod to a darker idea rather than such an on-the-nose statement).
ADDITIONAL COMMENTS:
I really enjoyed this, and you have quite a unique compositional voice that is serving the film well! One area to focus on, as you continue to hone your skills, is tone. Be very deliberate with your tone at all times, and make sure to identify which stretches need to be consistent, and which moments require a shift in that tone. If you can dial that in, I promise it will elevate your work to the next level!
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Example Feedback:
OVERALL COMMENTS:
Very nice work! Really like that you kept the instrumentation small. The choice of strings and glockenspiel work well with the overall mood and atmosphere of the film.
00:06 @ TITLE AND OPENING SEQUENCE
The music in the opening works well and sets a nice tone. Buildup in the music while the camera tilts towards the head of the doll is well done, almost has a Thomas Newman-like string writing quality to it. Also good work on hitting the doll waking up!
00:34 @ DOLL WAKES UP, ADMIRES SELF
I like what you did here for the sequence of the doll checking himself out! Would suggest you even try to follow the movements of the doll even closer with your melodies and orchestration when he is looking at himself in the mirror.
01:02 @ SNORE AND REACTION, DOLL DISCOVERS PENCIL
Good change in intensity of the music when we hear the man snoring! Works well. The doll eventually falls on his back, which I think would work best as the final ‘hit’ followed up by some silence. Now the music continues after his fall. Nice choice of bringing back the glockenspiel when the doll stands backup and starts thinking about drawing. Also here, when he comes up with his idea, this could be a more defined ‘hit’.
01:13 @ DRAWING SEQUENCE
Great thematic material here in the dance/drawing sequence. Has a nice melodic flow overall. For me this scene needs a bit more, this is the climax of the film. I would suggest you open the score up here with more legato strings and a louder dynamics. You could even consider adding in some more instruments in this sequence to really make this the climax of the film.
01:35 @ REVEAL OF DRAWING AND DOLL RETURNS TO SHELF
Love how you build up towards the reveal of the drawing! Also this soft major chord as a resolution works like a charm, especially with the addition of the glockenspiel twinkles. I like that you take some rest here in the music after this sequence
01:47 @ ARTIST DISLIKES DRAWING AND IS HIT WITH PENCIL
Nice work on the final scene. Going back to your original pizzicato section. The hit on the pencil hitting the man adds to the comedic value of the whole!
ADDITIONAL COMMENTS:
Well done! You have a good feel for scoring. Try not to be afraid of silence in your scores, it can really add a lot of value if you leave in some space here and there.
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Some More Feedback Examples
Example Feedback:
COMMENTS:
You\’ve done some fantastic work with this composition, particularly with the guitar writing.
00:06 Opening-interior of shop segueing into the sad piñata horse
Your use of the guitar and whistle creates a desolate western atmosphere, which is quite effective.
00:25 Horse reacts
|It seems you missed scoring the moment when the horse reacts to the doorbell.
00:28 The kid arrives
Your music for the kid is fitting and well-executed.
00:36 The kid reacts
It would be beneficial to have some music here to bridge the previous and next scenes when the kids find the horse and hold it.
00:44 Kid at the counter
The guitar strum at the end of the scene effectively foreshadows that something is about to happen.
00:50 Closeup of birthday cake
Great chill pizz.
00:56 Kids evil grin00:56 Kids evil grin
When the kid takes out her weapon, consider a more dramatic and complete switch in the music to match this emotional change. A change in harmony to a minor key might not be impactful enough.
01:00 Horse is terrified
This moment could benefit from more tension and horror in the music.|
01:03 Psychedelic transformation
Great use of reversed audio to capture the surreal nature of the transformation.
01:08 Horse back on shelf
No music here. I would recommend at least having some suspenseful strings harmony to create an abnormal sense.
01:14 Store owner reading paper
Same as above
01:17 Kid in door frame
Well done.
01:19 Terrified horse
You missed scoring the moment when the horse \”shits\” candies, which could have added to the comical effect. Additionally, the shaker and claps create excitement, which might not match the horror nature of this section.
01:31 The horse hiding under the shelving
No music here. I would recommend at least having some suspenseful strings harmony to create an abnormal sense.
01:41 Exterior, horse hanging on rope
This section should evoke horror and tension.
01:47 “How to escape a store”
The montage should begin here.
01:50 Horse jumping, running
While the music is generally good, it skips many of the hit points, which isn\’t a typical approach for scoring animation. Montage music for animation should be a complete piece that intentionally emphasizes all the movements.
01:59 Kid at the counter, then lots of action
Same as above.
02:04 Horse jumping again, and more action
As the scenes change rapidly starting at 2:13, indicating increasing tension and horror, the music should become more intense. Consider changing harmony, speeding up the tempo, or adding scary sound effects.
02:21 Dejected horse on shelf, then he gets an idea
Great work with the music when the horse gets the idea.|
02:48 A beautiful sunrise
Beautifully written.
02:54 The kids shoe lands, the duel begins
You\’ve effectively captured the sense of a duel. The volume reduction at 3:04 might be unnecessary.
03:10 The kid is run over
N/A|
03:14 Music out on cut to black
The end credits music is completely new, which may feel somewhat disconnected. Consider using some material from the score to maintain continuity.
ADDITIONAL COMMENTS:
Great job! You definitely have strong skills in capturing the emotions in the picture and using music to express them. Working on creating tension and spotting would take your composition to the next level. Keep up the good work!
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Example Feedback:
COMMENTS:
Your score never really finds the right voice.
01:00:00:00 @ MAIN TITLE MONTAGE
Very interesting opening material that works quite well. It does seem a bit too fast. :25 Now we run into some problems. The long-lined figure in the brass short circuits the energy that you have built up in your strings. Brass is the wrong color, they are too heavy for the scene. :38 I have not been able to grab onto any kind of a recognizable melody. Sure there is the 4-note brass motif, but a nice 8 bar tune would be most welcomed. Melody, since it is line, helps to pull us through the scene. :40 I have no sense of form or structure in this cue. Every 2 or 4 bars there is a new idea that doesn\’t really relate to any of the others. Colors are coming in and out and are not determined by anything visual or emotional. :45 The violins are too busy. :54 Our cook is standing still, looking, thinking, planning. Let your music play that. Stop all the incessant motion.
01:01:09:00 @ CUT TO BLACK AND SLO-MO
Okay. We see our cook walking towards us, with a determined and rather pleased look on his face. Is your score playing that? Everything is too minimal. In fact, it does not work well at all. The scene wants to have some moving line, some chordal intensity, some low tones to give it a sense of importance. Composing some kind of a promenade would be a good idea.
01:01:25:00 @ CUT TO SIDE PERSPECTIVE
Good. A little musical gesture acknowledging of naked sitting guy. 1:32 This has a rather odd tension to it. I don\’t think that is the right direction. You are telling the audience that something weird or bad is going to happen. It\’s usually not a good idea to project the drama. Let it unfold and then comment on it.
01:01:39:00 @ CUT TO DISH
1:48 Handled well. Add some solo wind line to help carry into the next cut. 1:58 Good buildup. 2:00 The oboe works great, the piano not as much.
01:02:09:00 @ TRANSITION TO NEW LOCATION
This works alright. Drop your piano down an octave and put some effect on it. 2:23 Tacet the brass, too heroic. 2:30 The score seems to be just floating around, afraid to really make a statement. 2:38 Hanging out on one chord way too long.
01:02:41:00 @ CUT TO END CREDITS
Your score started out very good, but then lost its way. Next time: pay closer attention to what the story demands and address it with well defined harmonic and thematic material.
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