Feedback Examples
Since your submissions are all different with individual strengths and weaknesses and it can vary a bit from judge to judge, we can not guarantee an exact length of the feedback.
However, the judges will take the same amount of time for each one, it will include specific points for you to improve on and it won’t differ much from these examples.
THE CURRENT WAY WE WRITE FEEDBACK
The judges currently put about 40% time into the feedback than in the past resulting in more in-depth feedback which will look something like this:
Example Feedback:
COMMENTS:
Really nice work on your score for this film! I appreciate that you took risks and approached it in a unique way
01:00:00:00 @ MAIN TITLE MONTAGE
I like the idea of this “resonant tone” as a motif for the marijuana, and your choice of when to bring that in is a good one. With that said, I don’t think the beginning of the scene works very well without music, so I would advise starting either on the title card, or even earlier, with something that sets the tone of this kitchen montage. You can then bring the resonant sound in as a punctuating element within that overarching piece of music. Tone-wise, even though there isn’t much going on harmonically, the sustained and evolving nature of the tones creates a feeling of intensity that I think might be too much at this point in the film. I think hanging on these long sustained notes like this might be more suited to the later scene in the dream sequence. 1:07 Hitting his little gesture is a good choice.
01:01:09:00 @ CUT TO BLACK AND SLO-MO
I like that you bring in a new sound here, and become more melodic. I also like that you choice to bring in rhythmic/percussive elements which create this feeling of anticipation, which works well with the idea that the chef is excitedly bringing out this creation to unveil it. Harmonically, we’re kind of in a slightly dark, yet mostly ambiguous place. It’s not really committing to any emotions, which sometimes is the right thing to do, but right here I wonder if we could have played up the excitement of the chef, which would then contrast (which is always a good thing in drama) with the subsequent darker elements once the reveal happens.
01:01:25:00 @ CUT TO SIDE PERSPECTIVE
1:37 Great choice to bring in a new instrument on a strong entrance here when we see the reveal that it’s himself he’s serving to. Harmonically, it still feels very uncommitted to anything. There’s a major chord which provides a positive lift, but then there’s immediate dissonance afterward, which sends us to a darker place, but there aren’t really actions on screen to justify these shifts in tone. So try to dial your tone in and be consistent with it, and only change when the picture demands it to change.
01:01:39:00 @ CUT TO DISH
Again, good spotting choice, bringing in yet another new instrument on the reveal of the joint on the plate. I think it would have been nice to have a bigger shift than just adding a bell sound on top while continuing your same overall idea. It could be any number of things: changing keys, starting a new melodic idea or rhythmic idea, coming to a pause, etc. Just something to help emphasize this big reveal. I like that you have this swell into the shot of him looking into the camera, with a bit of added dissonance. This works really well! I like the unsettled feeling you’ve captured on the zoom-in at the end of this scene.
01:02:09:00 @ TRANSITION TO NEW LOCATION
I would have liked more of a swell into the transition, before you cut off. It felt a little strange to fade out before the transition fully took place. The return of the “resonant tone” is a nice idea, as is the reprise of your melodic theme. It has a nice introspective quality that really seems to communicate what the character is going through.
01:02:41:00 @ CUT TO END CREDITS
Interesting choice to have the tremolo idea at the end, finishing on a dark and ominous note. While I think it’s a valid approach, the downside is that it really tells the audience exactly how to feel, when the film is otherwise set up to be somewhat open to interpretation. It might have been more interesting to be somewhat more neutral (or have a much more subtle nod to a darker idea rather than such an on-the-nose statement).
ADDITIONAL COMMENTS:
I really enjoyed this, and you have quite a unique compositional voice that is serving the film well! One area to focus on, as you continue to hone your skills, is tone. Be very deliberate with your tone at all times, and make sure to identify which stretches need to be consistent, and which moments require a shift in that tone. If you can dial that in, I promise it will elevate your work to the next level!
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Example Feedback:
OVERALL COMMENTS:
Very nice work! Really like that you kept the instrumentation small. The choice of strings and glockenspiel work well with the overall mood and atmosphere of the film.
00:06 @ TITLE AND OPENING SEQUENCE
The music in the opening works well and sets a nice tone. Buildup in the music while the camera tilts towards the head of the doll is well done, almost has a Thomas Newman-like string writing quality to it. Also good work on hitting the doll waking up!
00:34 @ DOLL WAKES UP, ADMIRES SELF
I like what you did here for the sequence of the doll checking himself out! Would suggest you even try to follow the movements of the doll even closer with your melodies and orchestration when he is looking at himself in the mirror.
01:02 @ SNORE AND REACTION, DOLL DISCOVERS PENCIL
Good change in intensity of the music when we hear the man snoring! Works well. The doll eventually falls on his back, which I think would work best as the final ‘hit’ followed up by some silence. Now the music continues after his fall. Nice choice of bringing back the glockenspiel when the doll stands backup and starts thinking about drawing. Also here, when he comes up with his idea, this could be a more defined ‘hit’.
01:13 @ DRAWING SEQUENCE
Great thematic material here in the dance/drawing sequence. Has a nice melodic flow overall. For me this scene needs a bit more, this is the climax of the film. I would suggest you open the score up here with more legato strings and a louder dynamics. You could even consider adding in some more instruments in this sequence to really make this the climax of the film.
01:35 @ REVEAL OF DRAWING AND DOLL RETURNS TO SHELF
Love how you build up towards the reveal of the drawing! Also this soft major chord as a resolution works like a charm, especially with the addition of the glockenspiel twinkles. I like that you take some rest here in the music after this sequence
01:47 @ ARTIST DISLIKES DRAWING AND IS HIT WITH PENCIL
Nice work on the final scene. Going back to your original pizzicato section. The hit on the pencil hitting the man adds to the comedic value of the whole!
ADDITIONAL COMMENTS:
Well done! You have a good feel for scoring. Try not to be afraid of silence in your scores, it can really add a lot of value if you leave in some space here and there.
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Example Feedback:
General Observations:
Great work on scoring this challenging scene, I really enjoyed your submission! I especially appreciated your use of percussive sound design to represent the “mechanical” nature of daily life, as depicted in the film. Very effective!
01:00:05:02 Passenger passes through subway gate. We see and hear passing trains. Slow motion effects.
I like the idea of using percussive elements only, and saving tonal elements for when the voiceover begins later. Additionally, I like that this rhythmic pulse idea is first introduced in the opening, but then returns later, so in that sense it becomes its own motive.
01:00:13:00 Voiceover begins setting the scene.
This is a very unique take on this scene, but I really like that it gives this “mechanical” sense, which really reflects the people just “going through the motions” of life.
01:00:36:07 Cut to watch. Narration continues, emphasizing the fact that we are not patient as we wait. The scene escalates, as does the sonic elements – including the ticking watch, the sound of the trains passing by, etc. Sonic rhythm – accelerates in intensity.
The music almost has a claustrophobic feeling, which I think works with the expressions on the characters’ faces. The increasing frequency of percussive elements works well to propel this sequence forward and create contrast with the following cut to black and transition to new feel.
01:00:55:003 – Fade to black. Sonic acceleration ends. Narration changes tone – “What we don’t see is the tragedy at play as the love of each of our lives is standing just an arms length away.” – Pivotal moment
I think you’ve held onto silence for a little too long here, go ahead and come in with your sustained chord right as we see the woman stepping out.
01:01:12:00 – “See our soul mate as in the way….” Another countdown begins…
I like that you bring in lower synth voices in this moment, although I think it would have been nice if it were just a moment sooner so it lined up with this line of dialogue.
01:01:23:16 End of line “If we would only turn and face each other…..” Slow camera moves….Definite change of feel.
Nice job with this transition in tone and feel, this is working well!
01:01:32:11 Couple begin walking towards one another.
You start to move into very romantic harmonies here, and tone-wise it feels like it’s pushing just a little too far in that direction. Yes, the characters are starting to form a connection, but it’s not like they fell in love instantly or something, so be careful not to go to far into that harmonic language until the scene justifies it.
01:01:46:04 CUT CU trumpet on screen being played (ON SCREEN SOURCE – referencing a mariachi band, however we only see one trumpet)
The incorporation of subtle trumpet line is really nicely done. It’s easy to go too far or too on-the-nose with this kind of thing but you’ve struck a beautiful balance.
Fantasty Love/Dance Montage 01:01:54:18 – Couple begins to sweep into their dance – covering a wide range of music/dance references, fluctuating between slow motion and regular events, escalating in weight as others join in (01:02:39:11). Tempo of poetry slows down as does the tempo of the picture @ 01:02:49:00. @ 01:02:57:10 – shoulder rest.
You’ve kind of missed this moment, which is an opportunity to spring into a new musical idea as the break into dance. You’ve saved your dance feel for later on the 2:07 moment, but it really should start around here as this is where the pace of the scene changes. I do really like your dance music once it gets going, though, nicely done on that! 2:44 around here stuff starts to drop out and then the music drops out completely a moment later, which I don’t think works. There’s nothing in the scene indicating that the sequence is ending, and instead we’re pushing forward in intensity into an even MORE intimate moment between the characters. Actually, this is maybe where you could bring in some of your more romantic harmonic language you used before.
“….exactly where we were supposed to be” end of line @ 01:03:08:01 CUT TO GIRL in window of train……
I don’t think the decision to just have no music for the last 25 seconds of the film is working, I think this is a bit of a spotting error. I get the idea, and I think dropping out for a shorter moment of silence on a key moment could possibly work (maybe on this one line, or something), but there’s just too much going on in the scene to justify being out for that long.
01:03:11:11 CUT TO BLACK
I like the return to your rhythmic “mechanical” idea, which in my mind represents the mundane going-through-the-motions. This is a very astute way of addressing this, and is a very successful element in your score!
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Example Feedback:
COMMENTS:
You\’ve done some fantastic work with this composition, particularly with the guitar writing.
00:06 Opening-interior of shop segueing into the sad piñata horse
Your use of the guitar and whistle creates a desolate western atmosphere, which is quite effective.
00:25 Horse reacts
|It seems you missed scoring the moment when the horse reacts to the doorbell.
00:28 The kid arrives
Your music for the kid is fitting and well-executed.
00:36 The kid reacts
It would be beneficial to have some music here to bridge the previous and next scenes when the kids find the horse and hold it.
00:44 Kid at the counter
The guitar strum at the end of the scene effectively foreshadows that something is about to happen.
00:50 Closeup of birthday cake
Great chill pizz.
00:56 Kids evil grin00:56 Kids evil grin
When the kid takes out her weapon, consider a more dramatic and complete switch in the music to match this emotional change. A change in harmony to a minor key might not be impactful enough.
01:00 Horse is terrified
This moment could benefit from more tension and horror in the music.|
01:03 Psychedelic transformation
Great use of reversed audio to capture the surreal nature of the transformation.
01:08 Horse back on shelf
No music here. I would recommend at least having some suspenseful strings harmony to create an abnormal sense.
01:14 Store owner reading paper
Same as above
01:17 Kid in door frame
Well done.
01:19 Terrified horse
You missed scoring the moment when the horse \”shits\” candies, which could have added to the comical effect. Additionally, the shaker and claps create excitement, which might not match the horror nature of this section.
01:31 The horse hiding under the shelving
No music here. I would recommend at least having some suspenseful strings harmony to create an abnormal sense.
01:41 Exterior, horse hanging on rope
This section should evoke horror and tension.
01:47 “How to escape a store”
The montage should begin here.
01:50 Horse jumping, running
While the music is generally good, it skips many of the hit points, which isn\’t a typical approach for scoring animation. Montage music for animation should be a complete piece that intentionally emphasizes all the movements.
01:59 Kid at the counter, then lots of action
Same as above.
02:04 Horse jumping again, and more action
As the scenes change rapidly starting at 2:13, indicating increasing tension and horror, the music should become more intense. Consider changing harmony, speeding up the tempo, or adding scary sound effects.
02:21 Dejected horse on shelf, then he gets an idea
Great work with the music when the horse gets the idea.|
02:48 A beautiful sunrise
Beautifully written.
02:54 The kids shoe lands, the duel begins
You\’ve effectively captured the sense of a duel. The volume reduction at 3:04 might be unnecessary.
03:10 The kid is run over
N/A|
03:14 Music out on cut to black
The end credits music is completely new, which may feel somewhat disconnected. Consider using some material from the score to maintain continuity.
ADDITIONAL COMMENTS:
Great job! You definitely have strong skills in capturing the emotions in the picture and using music to express them. Working on creating tension and spotting would take your composition to the next level. Keep up the good work!
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Example Feedback:
COMMENTS:
Your score never really finds the right voice.
01:00:00:00 @ MAIN TITLE MONTAGE
Very interesting opening material that works quite well. It does seem a bit too fast. :25 Now we run into some problems. The long-lined figure in the brass short circuits the energy that you have built up in your strings. Brass is the wrong color, they are too heavy for the scene. :38 I have not been able to grab onto any kind of a recognizable melody. Sure there is the 4-note brass motif, but a nice 8 bar tune would be most welcomed. Melody, since it is line, helps to pull us through the scene. :40 I have no sense of form or structure in this cue. Every 2 or 4 bars there is a new idea that doesn\’t really relate to any of the others. Colors are coming in and out and are not determined by anything visual or emotional. :45 The violins are too busy. :54 Our cook is standing still, looking, thinking, planning. Let your music play that. Stop all the incessant motion.
01:01:09:00 @ CUT TO BLACK AND SLO-MO
Okay. We see our cook walking towards us, with a determined and rather pleased look on his face. Is your score playing that? Everything is too minimal. In fact, it does not work well at all. The scene wants to have some moving line, some chordal intensity, some low tones to give it a sense of importance. Composing some kind of a promenade would be a good idea.
01:01:25:00 @ CUT TO SIDE PERSPECTIVE
Good. A little musical gesture acknowledging of naked sitting guy. 1:32 This has a rather odd tension to it. I don\’t think that is the right direction. You are telling the audience that something weird or bad is going to happen. It\’s usually not a good idea to project the drama. Let it unfold and then comment on it.
01:01:39:00 @ CUT TO DISH
1:48 Handled well. Add some solo wind line to help carry into the next cut. 1:58 Good buildup. 2:00 The oboe works great, the piano not as much.
01:02:09:00 @ TRANSITION TO NEW LOCATION
This works alright. Drop your piano down an octave and put some effect on it. 2:23 Tacet the brass, too heroic. 2:30 The score seems to be just floating around, afraid to really make a statement. 2:38 Hanging out on one chord way too long.
01:02:41:00 @ CUT TO END CREDITS
Your score started out very good, but then lost its way. Next time: pay closer attention to what the story demands and address it with well defined harmonic and thematic material.
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Example Feedback:
OVERALL COMMENTS:
Great work overall! Orchestration and production are well done.
00:06 @ TITLE AND OPENING SEQUENCE
Very nice mysterious opening. Has a magical touch to it. The buildup towards the doll waking up maybe has too much of a \’superhero\’ quality to it. However, still works well and the hit on the doll waking up works good!
00:34 @ DOLL WAKES UP, ADMIRES SELF
Like the quirky thematic material of the brass sections when the doll is looking at himself. Has a nice comedic touch. The hit on the doll jumping is really well done. After this I would suggest developing the thematic material, reflecting the doll himself also developing his abilities. For my taste it stays a bit too repetitive now, only modulates a few times.
01:02 @ SNORE AND REACTION, DOLL DISCOVERS PENCIL
Very good work on the snore of the man! Really catches the panic of the doll.
01:13 @ DRAWING SEQUENCE
Buildup, when doll comes up with his idea, is very nice! Also really nice work on the drawing sequence. Good choice to make this the climax of your thematic material. The way you develop your material here works like a charm. Choice of solo instruments is nice and works well. You could try to hit some of the movements of the doll even more.
01:35 @ REVEAL OF DRAWING AND DOLL RETURNS TO SHELF
Buildup towards the reveal of the drawing is wonderful, however feels a bit too anti-climactic. For my taste this should be a climax; a bit bigger, more magical and major. Afterwards when the doll runs back, really like the orchestration, only feels too big for this sequence. Solo instruments might work better here. Also try to hit more of the dolls movement here!
01:47 @ ARTIST DISLIKES DRAWING AND IS HIT WITH PENCIL
Like your comedic touch here. Great orchestration once again, and good use of percussion.
ADDITIONAL COMMENTS:
Very good feel for hitting the right moments in this style of animation. Really adds to the comedic value. Try to follow the movement of the doll a bit closer with your melodic material or your orchestration and this will only become better. Great work!
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THE OLD WAY WE WROTE FEEDBACK
With about 40% less time put into the feedback by the judges than now and only 17% cheaper.
Example Feedback:
“Your score is an absolutely lovely approach for this film, greatly enhancing the storytelling and adding a lot of heart. The whistling element incorporated in your music has a unique character, a bit of whimsy and delight! Your theme is absolutely wonderful. Excellent attention to musical accents of the visuals such as eye blinks, etc. honor the traditional approach to scoring animation. You have a superb grasp of this musical genre, in addition to adding your own musical signature to this piece. Bravo!
A few details that could be improved upon:
:48 The musical build up to the rescue could have been more dramatic, thus providing a feeling of greater relief after the rescue from danger. You do create a musical build, but it needs to accelerate and intensify more before the rescue.
1:11 Once the fall begins, a heightened sense of drama, and musical feeling of falling would have enhanced this section even more.
1:14 This is the point where the wild ride really begins. Your musical change began a bit later on the cut, but the actual visual cue is the cart swopping into motion on the tracks. Move the active music earlier top match picture.
2:04 This moment of realization needs to be recognized musically. The point at which he sees his friend holding the berries needs to be honored. You reveal the group with the berries, but the moment starts earlier with his friend.“
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Example Feedback:
“Well done on a very effective score. You display a very mature combination of dramatic sense and compositional / orchestrational skill. Constructed from the 2 core elements of the main theme (first heard in the ethnic flute under the opening titles) and the boom chick berry-stealing hijinx in the high nylon string guitar / ukele / (banjo even? … couldn’t tell), the score evolves in charming ways Even in a short animated piece like this, it’s encouraging to hear one or more unifying thematic or motivic elements to keep the score cohesive, rather than just an unrelated string of synch-specific musical effects. The music is beautifully orchestrated … very cinematic … with a nice variety of textures weaving the different instrumental families in and out. It displays idiomatic writing for all of the instruments, keeping everyone in range & using comfortable registers … an important point to note when using a sampled orchestra (some of us are listening!). Your spotting was first class with stylish changes of mood and appropriate tension and release. Importantly, the scale of music suits the action … it’s small and intimate when we’re just dealing with the llama and the penguin and the berries; with fuller orchestra for the train; back to small before plunge into mine; big for mine car and flying flying through air. If I had one criticism (and it’s a minor one … very subjective), I feel after crashing into the snow and the beautiful transition to the llama’s sadness at realising he has lost the berries … the swelling strings and woodwinds at the cliff’s edge are too much for the scene. Koro is alone, isolated and sad … and I feel a moment of true empathy is lost to melodrama until the penguins enter and the wonderful main theme returns in all its full orchestral glory. One last pat on the back … enjoyed the change of texture during the mine car sequence where you dropped the brass out and had the strings (of all things!) hitting the llama’s head knocks against the ceiling beams. Lots of fun!”
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Example Feedback:
“Nice opening, although the harp part is too busy. :18 The cartoony part on the harp should be on a different instrument. :25 Watch out for these little moments of silence. It’s best if they are avoided. No silence is the goal. Think of your score as a piece of string that is tying all of the visuals and sound effects together. When we have silence we are cutting this string. Too much use of pizzicato strings and staccato woodwind lines is another way we cut ‘the string’. :35 Good react. :44 Good drama. Could use a little more low end. :49 Hard out when he lands. :51-55 Nice use of your motif. Sync issue. :58 Penguin has two landings. 1:00 Fall them down. 1:04 Legato clarinet works better. The Cello tremolo should change pitch (it’s too static). 1:11 Good fall down. 1:14 Works pretty well, but the trombones are overpowering the active strings and the woodwind licks aren’t matched to any visuals. 1:27 I could use a bit more of a sense of flying. 1:34 Nicely played. 1:42 Nice landing. 1:52 Here is an opportunity for some nice melodic writing (never pass these up). The bassoon and clarinet seems to just be moving around each other and not really giving the ‘sadness’ the moment requires. 2:06 Nice. 2:12 The general feeling is fine, but the harp and the pizz. Business covers up your tune. Keep playing this material out until the end of the credits. A good animated score needs to be a unified piece of music that just happens to ‘hit’ all (and I do mean all) of the action/drama. You’ve done a nice job with this. “
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Example Feedback:
“You have a good sense of whimsy and fun chaos that comes through your score! The overall mood matches the lightness of the visuals and the chaos of the story. However, I think that there are several things that you could do to help improve the impact of your score and its support of the scene. The tension underneath the train’s approach is good, but it should grow as it approaches the penguin on the tracks as we sense the fear from our lead character. There should be a sense of growing tension at 1:17 when the cart begins to teeter on the tracks, and this tension should increase througout the incidents that happen afterwards. The bit-noise that you use to acknowledge the penguin’s motion at 1:00 is really fun, and could be a great concept if you incorporated it more throughout! Remember: a good idea is worth exploiting! Your use of silence, while intended to be comedic, actually makes the scene feel more awkward and less chaotic than what we’re seeing on screen. Is the piccolo line an at 1:39 an intentional reference to Williams’ ET? If so, I’m not sure what the correlation is here, but if it’s not, be careful of your melodic and orchestration choices, as they can immediately take someone out of the motion of the scene. Your ET quote, for example, made me immediately start thinking about aliens and flying bicycles instead of animals careening through the air in a chaotic chase. There should be a musical shift at 2:02 when the berry hits our main character so that we feel we’re startled with him.The tune that you have and the orchestration around it supports the warmth of what comes after this moment, but there should be a slight lift, since we’re playing this from his perspective. I wish that you had used a portion of this theme in variation throughout the earlier parts of the film under the action because it’d be helpful for us to track with our main character. Melodic devices are terrific and can help string a series of events together so that they payoff at the end is useful! The transition to the end titles is a good recapitulation to the action that happened earlier in this short, but it’s a very jarring transition musically. Try speeding up your theme or altering it at the end so that you can have a big flourish of strings or harmonic change to get us from point B back to point A. Also, kudos on your programming, as it was quite good through most of the score and help your ideas translate well. “
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